Tattoo dilemmas with Blue

When Things&Ink was in print, we asked shop mama at (now closed) Into You in London, Blue, to answer your tattoo woes and problems. We are posting some of our faves here as an ode to Blue and her wisdom. Blue now runs The Blue Tattoo in west London. 

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Dear Blue,
I’m writing to you as I am having a little tattoo dilemma. I have just turned 60 and I have two daughters who are huge tattoo collectors. Every time they come to visit me, they have new tattoos – which seem to keep getting bigger and covering more of their bodies. At first, I was apprehensive about it all, but I am becoming increasingly drawn to the world of tattoos.

So, for my birthday, my daughters have treated me to a voucher to go under the needle for the first time. This fills me with both excitement and trepidation. I have so many questions, will it hurt? What if I don’t like it? Will it be a scary experience. But, and most pressingly, I don’t know what I want to get.

I have had a few ideas, but my youngest daughter always puts me off them. How can I come up with an idea that really means something to me?

Thanks, Jenni, 60, midlands

Blue: These are questions all first timers ask. Getting your first  tattoo will fill you with all sorts of anxieties. My advice on thisL  take the plunge, no going back, no regrets. Don’t worry about the pain, it will hurt a little but it’s not so bad. Make sure you go to a studio you feel comfortable in. Getting tattooed is not scary at all – in fact it can be a very nice and pleasant  experience. A tattoo does not necessarily  have to have a meaning behind it, if you and your daughters find a design you like, then that is meaning in itself.

Dear Blue,

I’ve met a guy and am thinking of asking him out. He only has one tattoo, which doesn’t bother me, but it’s a quote from a book I really hate. Is this a deal breaker? How can I be expected to get past first base if I couldn’t even get past the first chapter?

Bethany, 32, London

Blue: Oh, that’s only a minor detail, if you like this guy don’t let  a silly quote get in the way. We can’t, and don’t, always like everyone’s tattoos. I say, go for it and just ask him out. If it works out for you, you can always get him to get more tattoos! So get past the first chapter and enjoy getting to first base.

Dear Blue,

My boyfriend insists that I cover my tattoos whenever we meet his parents, who he believes wouldn’t approve. Aside from the fact that I think they’re probably less conservative than he imagines, should I take the easy route to family harmony and keep them hidden, or be both more honest to myself and them by showing them if I feel like it? I don’t feel ashamed of them, so why should  I act as if I am?

Sophie, 25, Kent

Blue: I say keep the harmony and respect his wishes for now. Start up a conversation with his parents about tattoos to gauge their reaction. If they seem cool with the whole tattoo thing, let them know you that you like tattoos and have some yourself, then eventually you may not feel obliged to hide them any more. Good luck.

Dear Blue,

Do you think I should pay attention to people who tell me getting my partner’s name tattooed on me is  a bad idea? We’re thinking of getting ‘bro tats’ and while I do understand the cons, I feel that even if this relationship ends and turns out to be a mistake, it’s still one I’d like to remember. Am I being naïve?

Danielle, 32, Wales

Blue: No you’re not being naïve at all. I think you should listen to yourself, don’t worry about what other people think. Sure the relationship may not last forever, but you will always have the memory of that moment. You can always tattoo an X over the top, or
a line through it. Then there’s always a cover-up, if you decide it really needs to go! I’m actually a big fan of the X over a name! It’s always a funny story to tell…

What do you reckon, shall we revive our problem page? Do you have problems you would like Blue to answer, email hello@thingsandink.com

Dr Kimberly Baltzer-Jaray: Philosophy & Tattooing

Dr Kimberly Baltzer-Jaray, is Sessional Lecturer for Philosophy, Women’s Studies, and Social Justice & Peace Studies at King’s University College (Western), Advisory Board Member at the Centre for Tattoo History and Culture and Associate Editor for Journal of Camus Studies. Kimberly who was also a regular contributor to Things&Ink when the magazine was in print,  recently talked to Paul Fairfield as part of the Philosophy Crush podcast, in which they discuss the connection between tattooing and philosophy. After listening to their conversation we were keen to find out more…

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Photo taken by Rob Faucher

Can you elaborate further on women and tattooing. Drawing on your own experience what change in tattoo subjects have you seen between the sexes? Do you think these are influenced by more than just personal taste?

While it seems like there has always been a difference in the kinds of tattoos men and women get (e.g., the Maori facial Moko, the Taiwanese Atayal facial tattoos, Sailer Jerry Femini-graphics, etc.) or in some cases certain tattoos only to be applied to women (e.g., Ancient Ainu facial tattoos, inner thigh tattoos in ancient Egypt, facial tattoo patterns of the Berber women), today what I find stands out as a gender difference are the reasons many women get tattoos. I feel like, at least in the Western world, the tattoo subject matter women get is so vast and diverse, things once viewed as only for men or as masculine tattoos are now on women’s bodies.

I’ve seen very heavy black lined or filled tattoos on women, and I’ve seen pin-up girls, cars and trucks, and horror movie icons on women too. But the one thing I have heard many times from women, is the idea of reclaiming their beauty and their body from patriarchy and male-dominated perceptions of beauty. Some of these women have recovered from eating disorders, or have combated mental illness and suicide, or have survived breast cancer where a double mastectomy was performed.

They are reclaiming their bodies and defining their own sense of beauty by new standards and ideas – emphasis on their own. They are using tattoos to heal and like a butterfly emerge from a dark shell.

I have heard these kinds of comments from both cis and trans women, and it’s always point at beauty and reconnection with the self. In other words, fuck patriarchy! It’s reminiscent of the works of modern feminist writers like Naomi Wolf, Sandra Bartky, and Susan Bordo and their calling attention to how patriarchy uses beauty to oppress women and it does so by restricting the body and controlling behaviour. Tattooing becomes an act of defiance and reclamation, and it’s extremely powerful. I can’t say I’ve heard men do this. I wouldn’t say no man has ever done this, I’m sure there are examples, but it’s not a common male experience to reclaim beauty from patriarchy from what I can tell.

In this way I think the difference in what men and women tattoo on their bodies can and does boil down to more than just personal taste much of the time. It’s really based in the journey you find yourself on. Personal taste is bound up in here, of course, but I think just saying it’s all personal taste really underestimates and fails to represent the truth of the differences at play.

You argue that tattooing has been seen as uncivilised and savage, do you think these thoughts inflect how women with tattoos are seen and treated?

I should start by saying that I’m not the only one to present this point, there are several other tattoo scholars who talk about the colonial, racist and Eurocentric attitudes that prevailed and to a degree still remain today in some circles and places. In my opinion and based on my own experiences, the ways that these attitudes have come to affect tattooed women is that they are often become regarded as highly erotic sexual objects and/or they are underestimated in intelligence and ability (I say ‘and/or’ because these attitudes can happen separately or together).

To restate this bluntly, tattooed women come to viewed as sexually adventurous, easy to fuck, immature, dim, and incapable serious or executive work.

You don’t see this same attitude voiced when we see Aquaman Jason Mamoa or David Beckham all covered in tattoos: they may be viewed as sexually attractive but no one thinks they are incapable of authority, intelligence, or exercising prudence with sex. When I think of how tattooed women are viewed, I see it as encapsulated succinctly in the name given to and perceptions about the lower back tattoo known as the ‘tramp stamp’. A guy with a lower back tattoo is not labelled as such. These attitudes and preconceived notions can make it difficult for tattooed women to get certain jobs, or a promotions, or in my case seen as equal with my academic or professional peers. There’s an awful irony in listening to people who will quote something MLK-esque saying that you can only judge someone by the content of their character and not other arbitrary features like skin colour, faith, or ethnicity and yet that same person will regard a tattooed women as somehow less worthy of respect or dignity. It is getting better, which is nice to see, but when it comes to upper level management, executive level positions, or academic jobs the same shit still exists and isn’t getting better. It hurts tattooed women – period.

It also divides us sometimes too, because non-tattooed women who hold these patriarchal colonial attitudes won’t stand with tattooed women against these systems of oppression. In my Women’s Studies classes, when we have talked about intersectionality, I have often brought up tattooing as a layer of identity that can work as an oppressive force because we still live in a society where these old colonial attitudes prevail and create structures of injustice against women. I’ve had my PhD for over a decade now and I can’t count the number of times I have gotten a surprised and suspicious look when I say I have one and that I lecture at a university. I have attended academic conferences where I have been made to feel my difference in ways that was unsettling and debasing. I see it as, for the most part, my tattoos added a fresh layer of hell to sexism. To add to this point, complete strangers think it is acceptable to touch my tattooed skin – my arms usually – or comment on them loudly in public places, and it’s mainly men who do this. I’m not alone in this complaint, it’s one I have heard many times from other tattooed women.

It’s as if the combination of being woman and being tattooed gives them some kind of added permission to assert power and patriarchy over me.

Does this make me regret my tattoos? Never. They are worth the struggle and if anything make me stronger and more resilient. I also can’t say every experience has been negative. As I said, it is getting better. The Philosophy Crush podcast interview I was invited to participate in, is one very happy moment for me. To be recognised for the work I do in this area and by someone in the philosophy community is wonderful. Also, my work with Things & Ink has had a positive effect I cannot underestimate: I have formed many profound friendships and alliances as a result, and I’ve helped change some minds and perceptions in pieces I’ve written about tattooing and tattooed women (the magazine as a whole made great strides here). My university program director sees my tattoos as a positive feature that are accentuated by my academic abilities: my appearance gets students attention by disrupting the perception of profs being all old guys in tweed coats and those who are tattooed women (or just those different from the ‘ norm’ – I fondly call the oddities, which I’ve always been one) find representation in me, and my presence makes the department’s inclusivity and diversity crystal clear for all to see.

In this way and with this kind of support, I wear my tattoos and gender proudly, and I use my voice to draw attention to the issues tattooed women and others face.

You talk about tattoos being a way to take art onto the street, do you also see yourself as a mobile art gallery? Does this notion affect how you see your own tattoos and those of others?

I do yes, but the art I am showing only I really care about or truly understand. It’s like having a mobile art gallery and journal all in one. Other people are welcome to have an aesthetic experience when seeing my arms, legs or back, but in the end it’s art for me, about me, and it’s my journey. Tattooing as art is an experience of the beautiful in some way, whether that is beauty in your own eyes or someone else’s. Tattooing is an art that really is ‘to be shown’ whether you actually show it or not because most artists will place pieces in a position that goes with the body shape rather than against it, the direction of them are to be seen by others eyes and not your own, and the size of the piece must be proportional to the body it is going on. When you get the backside of your body done, you can only see it via a mirror and that angle – that perspective – is through the eyes of another outside your body. Now, the choice you have with your mobile art gallery is whether you keep it as a private collection or put it all on display, and where the red ropes line the way for special others to come in or keep some from getting close your valuable pieces.

It does affect both how I see my own tattoos and how I see others as well. As I fill in my body I am ever aware of how it looks, to me from my own eyes and that it will be viewed by others. While I can talk about how adults look at me, the best encounter are children. My niece, Violet, is a great example. When she was a baby, she used to get this look of awe on her face when she looked at and touched my skin. Now she’s three, I love when she calls me a colouring book and she’s always impressed that I’ve coloured in the lines. When she gets paint on herself she often remarks that she’s like me. That for me is the sweetest way to be a mobile art gallery, and in many ways it is opening her eyes to how other people can be different in their expression of subjectivity. I think if we view other’s tattoo bodies as mobile art galleries it conveys both the individuality and the significance of the act of tattooing.

Whether you like the tattoos on their body or not, or whether they are bad or good quality, they are theirs and not yours – it’s their beauty, not yours. To each her or his own.

It’s a way to create a distance and a kind of respect for someone else’s choices and style. In the age of tattoo TV contest shows and conventions with trophies where there are judges and competitions for artists to enter, it’s important to not take that kind of mentality onto the street with regular tattooed people. Their body and their choices are not there to be judged or commented on by everyone, there’s no award to given or constructive criticism to be dealt out. License yourself to be silent and just have the experience. Their body, their choice, their mobile gallery – end of story.

Intrigued? You can listen to Kimberley’s podcast here

Careers: Tattooed Critical Care Nurse

28-year-old Imogen Crisp is a critical care nurse in Manchester who sports an impressive tattoo collection. We caught up with Imogen to find out about her job, what sort of reactions her tattoos get, as well as how she feels as a heavily tattooed woman…

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How long have you been working in your current role? I have been a nurse for four years and worked in my current role for three and a half.

What do you love about your job and what do you find difficult? I love my job because of the sense of reward I get for caring for someone and their loved ones in some of the darkest times. To connect with a person at their most vulnerable and even if only slightly makes it more bearable. I have seen the beauty of the arrival of life, the suddenness of the end of it and every stage in-between. Who can say that for a job? Before becoming a nurse, I felt my life had no real direction or focus, now (fingers crossed) I have a whole career ahead of me and a real sense of purpose. It’s a humbling job and makes you appreciate what you have in life. I have also met some of my closest friends through this work, there is no deeper friendship than a nursing one, trust me.

The most difficult parts of being a nurse I guess is sometimes it can be emotionally draining, you become attached to patients and families and having to see them in some of the toughest times never gets any easier. Also the sense of weight on your shoulders, that you have someone’s life in your hands and you can’t have an off day. You often find yourself sacrificing your own needs to make sure you get everything done for that patient, the old cliché but I have gone 12 hours without a wee. In saying all this though, the good most certainly outweighs the ‘bad’ there is nothing in this world I would rather do.

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Are you allowed to show your tattoos at work? Our uniform covers most areas anyway, but you still must be bare below the elbow so any lower arm tattoos are visible and don’t have to be covered.

How do you think attitudes are changing towards tattoos, especially in healthcare? I have never had any issues with my tattoos at work, colleagues and patients have only ever had positive things to say, it can be a good conversation starter at times. Colleagues who don’t have tattoos or who come from cultures where tattoos are not as ‘popular’ find them very interesting and want to know more about them.

I like to think that attitudes are changing for the better towards tattoos not only in healthcare. People are becoming more open minded, and wouldn’t judge me on my capability as a nurse because I am tattooed which when I first started was a big fear of mine. So far four years in and it’s not happened.

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What sorts of reactions do your tattoos get? Outside of work the majority of my tattoos are on my lower body, so if they are out, you get the odd few stares and comments, usually men shouting ‘nice tattoos love’ which I just politely smile at, other times people are genuinely interested in the art or meaning behind my tattoos. I think heavily tattooed girls still has a bit of stigma attached to it, more so than men, people see it as more of a shock factor for a girl to be so covered, but attitudes are changing we will get there eventually.

Do these differ when you’re at work? In work I only have one or two that poke out the sleeve of my uniform, people usually ask what it is and if they can see it properly, I am always happy to show, its usually only positive reactions.

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Have tattoos helped you to love your body? Absolutely! I knew from a young age I wanted tattoos, and would spend time planning what and where, I didn’t get all the ones I had planned at 16 (thank god) but I did start as soon as I was 18 and now my body is a story of my life. I have tattoos that have meaning, tattoos that remind me of dark times in life, and tattoos from friends and ex’s (wouldn’t recommend but here we are!) I regret none of them, and I believe they make my body beautiful and even more individual.

Is there a particular tattoo that means the most to you? I have yellow roses on my thigh with banners that say ‘Nana’ and ‘Mumma’ the two strongest, women that influence in my life. I idolise them both, when my nana passed all my cousins also got a yellow rose tattoo as it was her favourite flower. I have script that says ‘Good night, God bless’ which is something my grandad still says to me every day. And I even have me as a pin up style nurse, which I got after being qualified for a year.

Do you have any future tattoo plans? At the moment nothing is booked, I’m thinking about getting my back done, but my god does the pain get worse with age! I don’t quite know if I’ve got it in me yet. Maybe something a little smaller.

Sister of the Moon: Kimberly Walker

24-year-old Kimberly, from Doncaster works at H&M and is a blogger at Sister of the Moon. We chatted to Kimberly about how she believes it is so important to open up about mental health on her blog and her incredible tattoo collection…

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How long have you been blogging, what inspired you to start a blog? I started my blog around two and a half years ago! I used to share outfits of mine on Instagram and they seemed to get a lot of love. So that, and amazing bloggers that I followed, such as Sophie from www.popcornandglitter.co.uk, (read Sophie’s interview on th-ink here), really gave me the push to create my own blog!

What sorts of posts can readers expect to see? I mainly post fashion about fashion, but I’m also trying to branch out to mental health posts and more lifestyle too. I want to show a bit more of my personality and interests on Sister of the Moon, so readers can get to know me a little bit more.

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You post about your mental health, is it important that we open up a conversation about these things? I do feel that it is massively important to be able to talk about mental health. I understand that it is hard to talk about it to anyone, whether you are close to them or not, but I want to show that sometimes getting your words out can ease your mind a little bit. And that I am here for anyone who needs an unbiased person to talk to.

Would you say that blogging helps your mental health or sometimes hinders it? Definitely both. I like to have a corner of the internet where I can get my words down and feel like I have a bit of a project to stick to when I feel a little bit useless. But also having a blog can bring a negative impact, as you are constantly comparing yourself to other bloggers and beating yourself up about things! I do believe that taking breaks from things, especially blogging, is not a bad thing at all! Nobody should feel forced to do anything.

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How would you describe your style? Well this is hard to do! Part of me wants to say alternative but I feel that’s a cringey word. I do have a very casual style, I tend to throw anything together and try and make it work.

Can you tell us about your tattoos, do you have a favourite? Almost all of my tattoos are black and white, apart from the first one I ever had done. None of them have any meaning at all I just tend to choose whatever I like on a flash sheet or have an artist sketch up a random idea of mine! I do aim to be covered head to toe (minus face) but for now I’m making slow progress. My favourite is my sternum tattoo! I have a  big bat tattooed on it, not going to lie it was my most painful one too. I hate being tattooed believe it or not.

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Have your tattoos helped you to love your body or see it differently? I must say I do feel more ‘myself’ with tattoos, I have very low self esteem which would be worse without my tattoos.

Tattooed Travel Photographer Kym Ellis

We chat to 29-year-old Kym Ellis, a technical marketing lead and travel photographer, about her tattoos and work. At the moment Kym has no fixed address and instead chooses to slow travel around the world – right now she’s in Chiang Mai in Thailand…

Kym Ellis

When did you get your first tattoo and what was it? It was on my eighteenth birthday and it’s a small pisces star sign symbol at the bottom of my nape. I wanted it when I was 16, but my dad who has very old tattoos which he hates, told me to wait until I was old enough. It’s not a very good tattoo but I still kept it as part of my back-piece.

What inspired you to start getting tattooed? Music mostly, I grew up in my late teens with MSN and MySpace and getting into punk and metal was the first time I felt like I had my own identity. I actually kept my music tastes a secret from my school friends for quite a while because I knew they were not into that scene.

Then when I turned 16 I decided enough was enough and changed my style overnight. I never looked back, it was extremely freeing to express myself in the way that I wanted to rather than trying to please others.

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Have tattoos changed how you see yourself and your body? Absolutely – getting tattoos gives me agency over my body and I definitely became more confident as I started to get more big pieces. Whenever I get a new tattoo, it only takes a few days for it to become a part of me. I often forget I have so many, and when I see old photos of a less-tattooed version of me I find it very strange to look at.

I still have some big gaps on my arms and legs that I want to fill up, but I am just taking it steady and enjoying the proces.

Stomach Piece By Romain Labordille

Do you think your tattoos affect how others see you?  Yeah, in both good and bad ways. To be honest I don’t get too much negativity about my tattoos these days, but it can happen occasionally because I travel so much and different places have a different perception of tattoos as a whole.

What sorts of reactions do your tattoos get? For the most part I get a lot of compliments about my tattoos and people often ask me where I got them done, how many I have, or how long they took. Sometimes people want to touch them, that’s kinda weird!

There are still certain places that I visit where tattoos are less accepted and I definitely notice people staring at me. But it really isn’t the majority of people, and my way of dealing with it is to be proud and confident.

If people ask me what the meaning behind my tattoos are, I show them the tribute portrait of my cat that I grew up with. I carry her memory around with me everywhere and yes I am aware that this puts me firmly in the crazy cat lady category.

Cat tattoo by Sam Stokes

My cat Tess, by my friend Sam Stokes

How do you find your work and tattoos mix? Can you show them freely at work? In the earlier days of my career when I worked for companies in the UK, I mostly had to cover my tattoos up. It’s not the worst problem in the world to have, but I never felt like I could take my full self to work and it did wear me down eventually. In hindsight I should have just had them on show. It probably wouldn’t have done me any favours in the workplace but I also don’t think it would have got me fired.

Ever since I started working remotely for technology companies, it’s been the complete opposite. I’ve always been accepted for who I am by all of my colleagues. I wouldn’t take a job where I have to hide my skin again.

Is your photography a creative outlet that allows you to share the real you? It used to be, when I started out with photography about eight years ago I did a lot of portraiture and used myself as a subject when there was no one else around to photograph. Alongside building my tattoo collection, this was a means of expression.

Travel photography is my main focus now, because that’s such a big part of my life. I share a lot of my photos for free on Unsplash.

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What future career plans do you have? I have made some big career leaps in the past couple of years, from finding my first remote job to becoming more of a technical marketer and improving my coding skills. I’m really happy with my career at the moment and in the future I’d like to move into senior leadership or marketing operations.

I’m going to keep travelling too – being able to work from anywhere is such an incredible opportunity. My next project is to learn how to sail a boat. Then my nautical tattoos will really come into their own!

How do you find travelling and getting tattooed?  It’s really hard to get tattoos when you travel a lot. From living in places where there aren’t many artists who do the style you’re after, to trying to get a booking when you’re only going to be around for a few weeks. I have a full back-piece that is still missing it’s colour because I need to get back to the UK so Ben Stone can finish it up for me.

Back Piece by Ben Stone

That said I’ve managed to get some really great tattoos during my travels. I got a mountain range on my arm when I was in the Arctic Circle, a beautifully gothic traditional tattoo at a convention in Cape Town by @jarretcrosson, a gorgeous snake and florals from @mooreahum.tattoo in Vancouver, and my stomach piece was by @romain_labordille in Bali.

tattoos by jarret crosson and moorea hum